it feels like i’m not 17 but 70 and have experienced everything. nothing amuses me, nothing excites me. whatever happens i’m always bored. there are so many things i haven’t tried yet. actually i still want to try them but i don’t think it will make any difference. it won’t bring any satisfaction, i will only be disappointed because i’m sure there’s nothing special about sex or relationships or whatever. even drugs don’t make me happier. i don’t even care that i’m going to Prague in a half of a year and will be studying and living there on my own for four years. i don’t care about the future, i hate children, i despise the word ”family”. i want nothing, i need nothing. eating and sleeping are the only things i’m interested in now.
i feel i will end up having a lot of money but nothing to live for and taking drugs.
