December 2010
61 posts
this spring I fell in love with a girl. I knew that she had ED too. when I first met her I stopped eating, that time I was really successful and after a month I became skinny. she inspired me so much, I wanted to be perfect for her, I wanted her to love me. but it didn’t happen, I was just a friend for her. then I finally realized that there was no chance for me, it hurt me so much, it was...
Just imagine what it would be like to wake up in the morning, perfectly empty, resting your hands on your stomach, which is caving in, tracing the outline of your hipbones, your ribs, your collarbones. The soft autumn light shining through the window, you stand up, and you feel a bit lightheaded - but that’s ok. You make yourself some fresh coffee, black, no milk, no sugar. You curl up with the...
“To these patients, their disease had become part of their life, their identity,...”
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i’m glad that girls who are too thin for me still exist. it means that i’m not absolutely sick. but my ideals become thinner and thinner every year.
there is a voice in my head. it says: you must be perfect. more perfect. the most perfect. as perfect as possible. i’m so exhausted by it.
